The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball Or football .
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
30.3.09
The Man Rules
29.3.09
Stalybridge Celtic at Home
On the way to the game the comment was that we would settle for yet another draw against probably the best side i have seen against us this season (and we stole a draw at that game as well)
Lets just forget about another abject first half ,with the Celtic showing a few good passing moves and Howie equalling anything they did create.
The second half was better with a sublime finish by JJ to secure the points although as usual we did get the hearts a pounding when another daft injury time free kick was conceded and they hit the post with Howie well beaten.
Jack Defty's penalty was possibly the worst i have ever seen in any game.Please fine him heavily...about the amount that he won from Bet Fred on the 1-0 will do.
I just hope that if it 0-0 then he would of took it in a proper manor.He would of !!
All in all we left more than happy that for only the second time all season we had won two league games in a row and had just done a Manc double with the treble on the cards in both ways on Monday night.
On to South West Manchester we go again.
28.3.09
26.3.09
King's Lynn A vs St John's Norwich... Cup Final
My first visit to Carrow Road in several years to maybe see some of the future stars/journeymen of Kings Lynn FC .The ground has changed majorly both outside and inside since the last time i was anywhere near it.With the last time i went inside a whole new south stand going up ... I wonder if the seats still rip up as easily ?
I must say it is a good looking stadium and must be getting a good clean in readiness to be the best in the old 3rd division?
Who decides on their beverage pricing ? It was £3.10 for a 330ml bottle of beer !! or £1.60 for a cup of tea !!.. What a rip off that even puts our "Blue and Gold" beer prices to shame .. something that cannot be said every day
It was a very good crowd for the final .. with the majority supporting the Norwich side but also a very healthy Kings Lynn contingent.
I will be honest and with the exception of a few players that i have seen play for the reserves and Hop along Hyde I really had no preconceptions of most of the players abilities.I ended up being very impressed.
The game rocked back and forth and either side could of won it with both keepers making some very good saves and forwards on both sides being guilty of missing chances.It was a very enjoyable game for all spectators.with the lads of kings Lynn more than matching a side that play 5 or so leagues above them and the draw was a more than fair result.
Penalties in my book should never be used to settle any final ever.
I suppose I should pick out the stand out players for me.
In no particular order ...Parkinson , Mcarthy and Drawbridge ...stood out while Rose disappointed the most ... loads of potential not used...
The style of football played is very good at times and they have been coached in the right direction.The future looks good especially if the reserves under their current manager perform a final miracle and stay up....This is not looking good but i guess the next 3 games against the bottom sides will go a long way to decide this....
Praying time ...and then common sense with both the first team and the reserves getting new management?
23.3.09
22.3.09
Hyde Away
A scenic journey to Manchester with the King having to do a full drive for the first time this season and getting his penance in the fact that his smoking pipe would of sounded good on the local chav car. An Elastoplast was applied by the local garage to ease his journey home and save him from the noise police.
The soundtrack was simply the radio in our vehicle no idea about what the ears suffered in the King's car.
The weather was fine until we crossed the pennines and the same in reverse... Manchester home to gloom was about right.
The ground was strictly old school.Big tin stands but all ends were covered. The clubhouse was a seventies throwback,Brian Potter would of approved of course.
About 40 hardy travellers made the journey,with a few exiles also making up the number and were rewarded with a hard working performance again with a little more invention than of the last few games.Both sides had good chances and Howie made 3 top class saves to deny the home side.Our chances were missed by poor finishing and a terrific goal line clearance by Renton ... who looked like he was getting a level of fitness into him.Jack replaced him for the last 20 odd mins and caused a few problems as usual.
To be fair the last minute goal was a little cruel on the home side who were more than value for the draw but a smash and grab is all fine in love and football.
Good finish in the end by Fisk.
That should just about see us safe in my eyes.
As a finishing note the food was good at the ground (M&P Pie,peas & Gravy)... Great Bovril .. though i am still waiting for my salt levels to return to normal.
Next up is the A-team final on Tuesday night at Carrow Road....
20.3.09
Quick Chat
Really quiet on the football chat all over the papers and the web, guess that is what happens when realistically the season is over 6 weeks before the season actually finishes.A situation that if we are honest is fine enough and we have achieved the ambition of probably staying up in our first season.
How amusing is it that The Scouse have got the Chelski yet again in the Champions League.It least it means one or the other of the humblest supporters in the league disappear fron the competition. Lets hope its the Scouse he says in a bitter tone... They still have the league that they can win!!
Onto Hyde we go .. another new ground for me and another Draw ??
17.3.09
16.3.09
15.3.09
Home to Vauxhall M
?Another workman like performance with the inability to kill or see out out a game ... Do the players not learn anything at all .... What should of been 9 points is only 3 and the poorness of the bottom clubs mean that we are still in the same league position .. I have said it before and i will say it again , this league is no better than the one above . We just need a 1% increase in performance and we could of been in the top 6 ... Just because of the evenness/poorness of the league.Junk !!!
What an odd lets try to accommodate Jacky D in the side formation that was ... Did it work ... well it was as said workman like ....Renton worked hard but is months away from full fitness.. Wouldn't mind seeing him on loan next season when he is fit and raring to go .. I can see the Potential and why he has a good reputation.Dwyer worked hard again and he is full of raw talent. Good stuff...
Do the bench pay ant attention to the players when they are playing ... Johnson looked like he had a hamstring problem for much of the latter stages of the first half and yet a sub wasn't even sent out to warm up ...Admittedly he ran it off .. odd !!...
Another very late goal conceded ... I am seriously annoyed still..
Roll on 6 weeks time and the season is over ... It has been a very frustrating one all in all..
Time to regroup and start over again ... Johnson as player manager with Peters...anyone ??
14.3.09
Ivor Cutler
13.3.09
Good Spin
From the new commercial director , I am liking it a lot ... good times ..
John Thaxton as well.... Good Good PR .... Should get a few more through the gates ....
Boxing at the walks in the summer months ??.... Who needs Vegas?
Next on my agenda is the issue of forming a Supporters Trust ... This will follow tomorrow
12.3.09
The Financial Situation At the Club
Before anyone gets on their high horse the following is how i see it.
Anyone that has read the blog over the last year or so know my opinion of Mr Chinn.
I hear that times are tough in the employment agency world at the minute is all that i am going to say..& my opinion is that the current situation is as much down to a cash flow problem with all of the directors seeing their cash and assets being squeezed as they are at all clubs.
Goodbye to Mr Chinn , thanks for opening them legs for us.
I hear that our wage bill is far too high ( 5 figures per week ) and that the costs have been based on gates that were never going to attainable ( 1500).... A comment was made a week ago by a friend is what happens to general business sense when successful businessmen get involved in football clubs.... We all want the best for the club in positional terms but a strong business sense is an absolute must ...
An absolute business sense seems to of been realised only on the last few weeks at the expense of actually paying anyone or even being honest with people over that payment situation ..
If we had not paid the players another week then the fa could of stepped in and caused all sorts of problems....Guess cash is the word now. Did we all know that no one(bar staff,reserves,reserve players travel expenses) had been paid for a few weeks , well they had with rubber cheques.Why issue Cheques when there is no money in the account ?
One word Transparency.. is what is needed,it will stop the rumours and all of the trouble that causes..
Lets hope i am correct in it just being a cash flow problem because if it is not then it certainly is not gonna get any easier in a very long summer.
11.3.09
Solihull Away
Nearly a local derby for us this one with the journey only 2 hours each way ...
A Lego style ground with one covered end and two flat open sides with a Swedish style bar area that seemed to go on and on ... Nice to see that the Gobby brum women is not a myth ... for the record love your girlfriend needs to lose a few pounds ....
The food was good ... a quality bacon roll.
Great to see Dom Dwyer starting and he had a good full debut ... working hard and causing trouble to the centre halves.It was another good hard working performance all over the pitch with Thomas scoring the goal with a cheeky back heel..But what a way to give away the win ... I asked my lad ( aged 10 ) what he would do in the last minute of a game when you have the ball in the opposition corner .....
Do you look to keep the ball and get a corner/throw in ?
Give away a free kick?
Or cross the ball into the area when you only have one person forward?
Even he got the right answer ... So why did Mitchell cross it and give the Solihull the chance to attack... Why Why Why ???
We left the game inconsolable as were the management who we spoke to on the way out .. I even felt some sympathy for them.
If it goes to the wire then games like this are exactly the root cause ... We need to be much more professional.
Quincy Coleman - Baby Don't You Cry ( the pie song )
A Sweet Little ditty from the film "Waitress".. which is pretty good
10.3.09
Telford Away
Back to the minibus we went with a cracking old school crowd , which meant a no holds bar level of banter on both journeys ... Tune wise it was the Shrimp man who stood up to the plate first and a new level of technology was reached with a Bluetooth I-pod being used.. Impressive !!... A mix cd from the Merthyr day out was also sourced plus the usual Dance tunes for the journey home to warm up the dancers and lovers on the bus... !!
After getting misplaced we toured Wellington (Telford's original footballing name until the new town swallowed it up)Eventually we spotted the ground hidden behind a hotel and parked up at the cost of £2 English pounds... Then the fun began... The steward assigned to us had to get clearance for us to get off the bus ... WTF? So we were asked to stay on the bus ..and then we were not allowed in the same bar as our other fans and were directed to a home bar !! We think you may cause trouble so we will put you in a small home bar not the main one ??
The ground was impressive if not finished .. They refused to open the bar in the stand for us but did manage the food part in the end.The excuse they had been told we would only have 20 fans at the game .. Even for Gateshead on a Tuesday night we managed that many ... Muppets .
Continuing in the same direction we counted 35 stewards in the ground at one point... now that must be the highest in the league by far.
The game was all huff and puff and little else of any interest. We worked hard and kept them at bay until the schoolboy injury time defending.Good goal for the boy Dwyer..Renton looked miles away from fitness in fact the word oaf was used to describe him on the journey home ., harsh ? only maybe.It was an impressive away support with the scarfers joining in with the old standard songs... Some song writing is needed ... please send me suggestions.
Whether the man Keith has a wire tap on our bus i am not sure but much of his comments reflect conversations that were held on the bus.Perhaps we should be manager, as a co-op.
I felt more than happy with a point in the end although several of those around me were more than gutted and took solace in the bottle for the journey home.
I would like to give thanks to the steward that got the police nosing around our van and got me pulled over for a chat about the big brother laws in this country. Cheers bud ... But he was a blue nose with some common sense..( yeah really ) Taking beer from us is like taking sweets from a child .. the reaction would of been interesting to say the least and a night out in Telford would of been the result without doubt.. Good times !!
Superb fish and chips in Thrapston on the way home ... Visit Bens Chippy if passing always excellent and yeah i did get free food to say this ..
Onto Solihull tonight and hopefully the full 3 points to edge closer to safety ... See you There ...
As a footnote .. anyone else get a little creeped out by the behaviour of the steward that was giving art classes to sheep head and his pals ?
Bearsuit - More soul than Wigan Casino
All 3 bands last night were equally good in different ways ...
Chew lips .. oozing new band full of coolness & attitude with great synth tunes....Great front lady ... very cute indeed in an out of reach way.Bless she watched most of the HB stood just in front of me after gently pushing in .. of course i let her in !!
Joy F -very good even with a few sounds hitches .. real attitude backed up with powerful tunes ..
Howling Bells - very good as well , Juanita is amazing as the front woman ... great new atmospheric tunes from both albums .. the new LP is very good .
All in all a great night out with a sell out crowd who were very quiet but appreciative ... No moshing at all ..
It seemed a very grown up crowd.Is that a bad thing ? I am not sure .
Onto the next gig on Sunday and Bearsuit plus the Brownies ... with Bearsuit using it as a fundraiser for their SXSW excursions next week hopefully without any deportations this time ..
9.3.09
Catch up time ...Redditch Away
A good win against a very poor side that we nearly let back into the game in the last 20 min's ...well until Bradley Thomas showed great timing in his headlock release and as the referee turned to look got a little slap in retaliation .... I wonder if tells jokes with such great timing ??
A tin pot ground that looks like it has struggled over the years with a gazebo over the far bit of seating.An odd cheap musty bar that kept us in Magners... I had a chance to escape the driving as the Fighter and the shoe salesman took their vehicles.Funniest thing of the day was the Fighter parking his car getting in as a kid then buying a beer ... Quality Jibbing ...
A Good turn out of fans witnessed another poor game but 3 points that were needed.
My Memory is shot on the rest but very little was memorable...
Another Gig calls
This time the wonderful Aussie group "The Howling Bells" supporting by the gonna be huge this summer "Joy Formidable" plus the hotly tipped "Chew Lips" as support also ... Its gonna be a cool night at the Norwich Arts Centre especially with the gig selling out 2 weeks ago... Good Times ...
Video is very cool have a watch
8.3.09
Southport , Harrogate & Hucknall at Home
Catch up time .... Lets see how the memory is
Southport ... well a good battle and a well earned point that helped towards survival ... can't remember too much about the game but i seem to sort of think that we should of put away early chances but a draw was a fair result.
Harrogate ... An abject last 15 minutes meant that we threw away the points when they should of being long secured... Lots of positives apart from Murray losing it ( after several good displays ) in the last ten minutes & being rooted to the spot for the free kick , Chapman showing why his recent departure is not a loss when he again conceded a free kick in a dangerous position..This is the game when Webb lost Joe Francis for the club by slating him in the dressing room for not passing to Mitchell to maybe make the score 3-0... and then following this up in the radio later .... Management skills ?? Guess the defending and goalkeeping were adequate then !!
Hucknall..... Thanks to whoever woke me up when the game ended ?
A quote after this game in the press was that as long as he was manager at the club then Francis would still be at athe club...
Is our manager a Man of his Word ?
Gaslight Anthem
Gaslight Anthem played in Norwich last Monday along without support from Frank Turner and The Polar Bear club ...
Polar Bear club were good in there own way but in truth i missed half of the set getting there late and getting a beer ... Frank was on his own and played a storming set ....He deserves to be huge and the third LP out later in the year may will be his launching pad ...Check him out on YouTube or google ...Quality... He is also at loads of festivals and has a full tour in October ... Cambridge Junction being our nearest date on Oct 23rd.
Gaslight Anthem were pure rock n roll .... A band who looked like they were enjoying every second of being on stage,playing tunes that were sing along , danceable and oozing with quality ... This is another band that deserve much bigger stage ...and not just the lazy comparisons to the utterly shit Killers .. Good times
Apologies
Firstly apologies for the blog going off line for a few weeks ... I initially took it off so that i did not get involved in any arguments / discussions over the Chinn affair and the perilous state of the clubs finances .. Much of what has been said has been wholly inaccurate and i did not wish to play a part in this .
I am now back and will catch up on the last few weeks games and add my two Penney towards what has happened and where i think we should go forward ..
