The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball Or football .
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
30.3.09
The Man Rules
29.3.09
Stalybridge Celtic at Home
On the way to the game the comment was that we would settle for yet another draw against probably the best side i have seen against us this season (and we stole a draw at that game as well)
Lets just forget about another abject first half ,with the Celtic showing a few good passing moves and Howie equalling anything they did create.
The second half was better with a sublime finish by JJ to secure the points although as usual we did get the hearts a pounding when another daft injury time free kick was conceded and they hit the post with Howie well beaten.
Jack Defty's penalty was possibly the worst i have ever seen in any game.Please fine him heavily...about the amount that he won from Bet Fred on the 1-0 will do.
I just hope that if it 0-0 then he would of took it in a proper manor.He would of !!
All in all we left more than happy that for only the second time all season we had won two league games in a row and had just done a Manc double with the treble on the cards in both ways on Monday night.
On to South West Manchester we go again.
28.3.09
26.3.09
King's Lynn A vs St John's Norwich... Cup Final
My first visit to Carrow Road in several years to maybe see some of the future stars/journeymen of Kings Lynn FC .The ground has changed majorly both outside and inside since the last time i was anywhere near it.With the last time i went inside a whole new south stand going up ... I wonder if the seats still rip up as easily ?
I must say it is a good looking stadium and must be getting a good clean in readiness to be the best in the old 3rd division?
Who decides on their beverage pricing ? It was £3.10 for a 330ml bottle of beer !! or £1.60 for a cup of tea !!.. What a rip off that even puts our "Blue and Gold" beer prices to shame .. something that cannot be said every day
It was a very good crowd for the final .. with the majority supporting the Norwich side but also a very healthy Kings Lynn contingent.
I will be honest and with the exception of a few players that i have seen play for the reserves and Hop along Hyde I really had no preconceptions of most of the players abilities.I ended up being very impressed.
The game rocked back and forth and either side could of won it with both keepers making some very good saves and forwards on both sides being guilty of missing chances.It was a very enjoyable game for all spectators.with the lads of kings Lynn more than matching a side that play 5 or so leagues above them and the draw was a more than fair result.
Penalties in my book should never be used to settle any final ever.
I suppose I should pick out the stand out players for me.
In no particular order ...Parkinson , Mcarthy and Drawbridge ...stood out while Rose disappointed the most ... loads of potential not used...
The style of football played is very good at times and they have been coached in the right direction.The future looks good especially if the reserves under their current manager perform a final miracle and stay up....This is not looking good but i guess the next 3 games against the bottom sides will go a long way to decide this....
Praying time ...and then common sense with both the first team and the reserves getting new management?
23.3.09
22.3.09
Hyde Away
A scenic journey to Manchester with the King having to do a full drive for the first time this season and getting his penance in the fact that his smoking pipe would of sounded good on the local chav car. An Elastoplast was applied by the local garage to ease his journey home and save him from the noise police.
The soundtrack was simply the radio in our vehicle no idea about what the ears suffered in the King's car.
The weather was fine until we crossed the pennines and the same in reverse... Manchester home to gloom was about right.
The ground was strictly old school.Big tin stands but all ends were covered. The clubhouse was a seventies throwback,Brian Potter would of approved of course.
About 40 hardy travellers made the journey,with a few exiles also making up the number and were rewarded with a hard working performance again with a little more invention than of the last few games.Both sides had good chances and Howie made 3 top class saves to deny the home side.Our chances were missed by poor finishing and a terrific goal line clearance by Renton ... who looked like he was getting a level of fitness into him.Jack replaced him for the last 20 odd mins and caused a few problems as usual.
To be fair the last minute goal was a little cruel on the home side who were more than value for the draw but a smash and grab is all fine in love and football.
Good finish in the end by Fisk.
That should just about see us safe in my eyes.
As a finishing note the food was good at the ground (M&P Pie,peas & Gravy)... Great Bovril .. though i am still waiting for my salt levels to return to normal.
Next up is the A-team final on Tuesday night at Carrow Road....
20.3.09
Quick Chat
Really quiet on the football chat all over the papers and the web, guess that is what happens when realistically the season is over 6 weeks before the season actually finishes.A situation that if we are honest is fine enough and we have achieved the ambition of probably staying up in our first season.
How amusing is it that The Scouse have got the Chelski yet again in the Champions League.It least it means one or the other of the humblest supporters in the league disappear fron the competition. Lets hope its the Scouse he says in a bitter tone... They still have the league that they can win!!
Onto Hyde we go .. another new ground for me and another Draw ??
