A computer is a very personal thing. It is a bit like a car, or a girlfriend, in that it can be quite an uncomfortable experience letting some else have a go in it. Especially if you really really like the car.
Computers can be similar in that they are generally only used by yourself, and over time they learn your habits and idiosyncrasies. It can be as hard to navigate your way round someone else’s computer as it is to find the G Spot on someone else’s girlfriend.
The thing about computers though, is that they don’t immediately recognise they are being used by someone else, which is sort of the where the girlfriend analogy falls down a bit, unless you are using Rohypnol. Because they don’t realise they are being used by someone else, they can betray you in the click of a mouse button.
A friend was using my Mac to check some train times and had launched Google to search for the correct website to use.
“Ummm….” they began questioningly in my direction, “When did you search for Transvestites in London?”
“What?!”
“I only got as far as putting in the ‘Tra’ of ‘Train timetable’ when Google suggested I might be searching for Transvestites in London, as it was a search you’d done previously. So, when did you want to find a cockney ladyboy?”
This was disappointing in the extreme. Like a prison snitch looking to get credit for a tiny piece of information it had managed to gather, Google was grassing me up. As a result, I was then forced into a long explanation of how that search was conducted as part of a project I had been involved in, and how it really is not what it seems, out of context. After a couple of hours they finally conceded that it was not as they had first thought, and it really was a completely innocent bit of research and not conclusive proof that I am a pervert.
So, let this be a lesson to you. Just like the friend’s girlfriend who gets drunk and lets slip your little secret, you should be very careful what you share with your computer.
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