30.5.08

A Double dose of the Charlatans

Tim Burgess=Rock Star .With an Amazing band that are consistently excellent.

Bob Willis

A Cricketing Hero from my youth

29.5.08

Never forget the Obvious

For all you birthday lovers i couldn't miss the talented Gallagher's year older celebration
The best thing they have done and a cool video

Sonic Youth

I watched Juno again last night instead of the farcical England Friendly or Britain's talentless twats
This is a great version of the carpenters song Superstar from the film.
If you haven't seen the film it is a great watch with terrific dialogue.

Tractor Crash


Downhill Toy Tractor Faceplant - Watch more free videos

28.5.08

Sue Holderness

i.e) Marlene is a year older today



A couple of bits of ONLY FOOLS & HORSES

27.5.08

Parkinson, Moore,Cook & Conteh

Very Amusing Interview with all of the above

Superstars

I loved and i mean loved this programme as a kid but the insurance and blame culture will mean that it will never feature the top stars like it used to.They bought it back in 2003 & 05 but it has disappeared again.
It's the 1974 champion John Conteh's birthday today.


Paul Gascoigne

Has made it to his 41st Birthday and for his own sake hopefully he is on the green tea tonight.
Will he see his 42nd ? Only he can make that decision.Unfortunately those who are supremely talented seem to have the most destructive personalities.
Take care Lad


I was at Wembley the day he scored that goal against The Neds. Simply Superb.

26.5.08

Amazing


Crossroads by ~anandgandhi on deviantART

Stuck

"Oh! Donny Donny Donny Donny! whoo ooooooo etc"...sung to the kaiser chiefs "ruby" , how ironic is that now Mr overrated Moyles . Ha ha ha ! Still stuck where they deserve to be and with Hull in the premier league.. even funnier.At least they can play a Manchester(ish) side in Stockport next season.Watch your backs Leeds,FC United are just behind you or even more realistically Kings Lynn Town.
Our first signing Mr
Bridgewater ? Difficult to find out much about him and i missed him against us at Bromsgrove so i will have to trust Judgement for the time being.
North or South? Am i alone in guessing that all is still not resolved over this issue.All these financial issues with clubs is making the conferences look like a right bunch of
muppets, not that Uncle Den needs much help (now just where is that play-off final being held ?)
& back to the top subject if someone wants to get rid of that talentless prick "Comedy Dave" who has ridden on Moyles back for most his career in any violent way, I will donate a pack of Spangles with one missing.

Cos it just won't stop Bloody Raining

I have been to the local D.I.Y store and have purchased a sandpit and several bags of sand that are now covering the living room floor.The beach boys are the soundtrack and we are surfing on the ironing board.A paper sun is on the main wall to remind us what the sun looks like.

If you don't the words to the song below then your officially an Oaf

Stevie Nicks is 60

I have to admit i have a general dislike of American 80's music but there defiantly something about Stevie nicks 's voice (and more.. but that is best left for a good friend who drives taxi's for a living )

25.5.08

Greed,Lies and Revenge

So the Toad joins Liar Holloway on the dole, neither a surprise but 5 months in charge roughly each. What does this say about the state of our game. Please lets give managers a bloody chance to really prove how crap they are please. I read that the toad signed a 4 year contract in December WTF? How much compensation is that?
I see that Norfolk's second side are bringing in even more of Roeder's Mates (this time a goalkeeping coach) and they are telling lies as well!Naughty!Naughty!When is a head scout not being sacked?When Neil Doncaster says so.Ah!but he was relieved of his duties yesterday, funny that.Even funnier Bryn Gunn,he who has been,well i never did figure out what he really did at their club is now Head Scout!Apparently he is well connected.
Dean Windass... What do you say,what a Hero this man is. He cried as many tears at winning as Terry did over the miss.On this subject again has everyone forgot that it was Anelka (who doesn't seem to give a monkeys) that missed the final penalty.Anelka is the one that should have sulky effigies hung from Kings Road hanging baskets.
Off topic Adam Crozier,he who had a brief time fucking up our beautiful game picked up a wage packet of 3 million last year while attempting to rip apart the company that he works for.Another candidate for the hanging basket scenario so his workers can post something up his arse everytime they walk past him.

Weller is 50 Today

All Hail The ModFather
The new Single
Echoes Round The Sun


Have You Made Up Your Mind

Broken Stones

A Town Called Malice


An Absolute Legend
Happy 50th Birthday

24.5.08

As i didn't post yesterday i will make up for it today.
I remember someone recently saying that they had never seen this
Amarillo (Royal Dragoon Guards)

CLASSIC

WE will never learn any lessons

& this song will still be as relevant in 50 years as it still is today
It's about time people gave a fuck about each other ,not just themselves. Then stood up and started to do something about it.



Happy Birthday Bob

It's Eric's Birthday not that i need an excuse to post this

The best player i have had the pleasure to have watched in real life.
Simply Genius - check out 1.42 for confirmation


22.5.08

Ever Get This Error?

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Kenny Ball or Morrisssey

Well let's have both,it is their Birthday after all.

Suedehead

Midnight in Moscow-- (quite apt )

Just The Way it is

What a great game full of the best of the English game and an incredibly cruel way to finish a game.
Why can't teams do the extra time and then play until somebody scores? TV timings and sponsorship? MONEY i suppose is the answer to this question.
Despite loving the fact that the side I follow has won it is tinged with sadness that the result doesn't match the evenness of the game. Two bits of woodwork ,3 great saves and a Terry headed deflection all made for a good entertainment.
Sometimes all is not fair,much like everything that is around us.


U2-SO CRUEL

21.5.08

Utd

As those that know me I am a Man Utd follower and tend to keep my loyalties to myself .I did my supporting in the late 80's and the early 90's (season ticket holder for many years)with a large dose of games before the late eighties.I have got into many discussions where i have been accused of being a glory boy, i can assure you Man Utd in the 80's were pretty much shite.In fact my first ever game was the game vs Man City when Dennis Law sent us down (well sort of we were down anyhow) so my baptism was far from glory.I do generally refuse to justify myself to most and tend to keep the past as exactly that,safely stored in what is left of a pickled and chemically shot memory but tonight has got me more than a little excited.
Let tonight take Utd to 17 and 3.

On the topic of Kings Lynn i see we have a few players taking part in the non league player tradition of thinking that they are worth more and wanted by every one until pre season starts and they are without a club.
Nothing like the ego of a non league player who has just won the league.

As The Tension Starts To Build

For the 0-0 draw and penalties tonight
A bit Of Tiesto to start The Psyche

The New Frank Turner Video

Frank Turner - Reasons not to be an idiot

20.5.08

Nick Heyward is 47 Today


Haircut 100 - Favourite Shirts
A Great Track That Still Sounds as Good as it did first time around

Own goals

Thinking about the daft decision Risse made when he headed the ball instead of booting it into the top the Kop vs Chelsea sent me scurrying to look for more quality own goals. Here are a few.


Jamie Pollock for the Blue Goons , still as funny today as the day in happened

19.5.08

Grassed up by Google

This was posted by Mr Angry at I am livid

A computer is a very personal thing. It is a bit like a car, or a girlfriend, in that it can be quite an uncomfortable experience letting some else have a go in it. Especially if you really really like the car.

Computers can be similar in that they are generally only used by yourself, and over time they learn your habits and idiosyncrasies. It can be as hard to navigate your way round someone else’s computer as it is to find the G Spot on someone else’s girlfriend.

The thing about computers though, is that they don’t immediately recognise they are being used by someone else, which is sort of the where the girlfriend analogy falls down a bit, unless you are using Rohypnol. Because they don’t realise they are being used by someone else, they can betray you in the click of a mouse button.

A friend was using my Mac to check some train times and had launched Google to search for the correct website to use.

“Ummm….” they began questioningly in my direction, “When did you search for Transvestites in London?”

“What?!”

“I only got as far as putting in the ‘Tra’ of ‘Train timetable’ when Google suggested I might be searching for Transvestites in London, as it was a search you’d done previously. So, when did you want to find a cockney ladyboy?”

This was disappointing in the extreme. Like a prison snitch looking to get credit for a tiny piece of information it had managed to gather, Google was grassing me up. As a result, I was then forced into a long explanation of how that search was conducted as part of a project I had been involved in, and how it really is not what it seems, out of context. After a couple of hours they finally conceded that it was not as they had first thought, and it really was a completely innocent bit of research and not conclusive proof that I am a pervert.

So, let this be a lesson to you. Just like the friend’s girlfriend who gets drunk and lets slip your little secret, you should be very careful what you share with your computer.

Comment

So Craig Fleming is setting up his own personal fitness training company. As a Kings Lynn fan this seems like a rather large dose of irony.Guess the wages from his free ride at Kings Lynn have set him on his merry way or at least paid for the website.Lock up the milf Craig is coming training.
Well done the Wembley stewards for making sure that the tattooed wigged book seller did not have that bloody annoying hand bell at the cup final, it made the inability of both sides to pass and keep the ball almost tolerable.
More tomorrow if i can wade through all of Champions League final diatribe,which makes the task of actually getting to Moscow seem easy.

Pete Townsend is another Year older today


The Who - Behind Blue Eyes

Distraction

Somehow i completely missed this programme when it was on. I caught up with a few episodes on channel 359284 or something like that during a bout of insomnia last week .
It's Very Funny,even Jimmy Carr manages to be amusing.



Both clips are quite long and youtube seems very slow tonight!

18.5.08

Whoops!

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Owned

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Toyah is 50 Today

& she appears at the Kings Lynn Free Festival on the 5th of July.
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An Acoustic working of "It's a Mystery"

It works well and is from songs of praise
and as footnote she is still lovely

17.5.08

Paddy "fat B" Kenny is 30



Saturday's Musings

So it's FA Cup Final Day again and this year without the so called big sides. I have to say i find it very refreshing that smaller sides (no disrespect to Pompey meant) are fighting to win the biggest domestic cup competition in the world even if the press haven't seemed very interested since the semi final stage.So who's going to win? It's got to be the English side,especially after reading about some of the lovely antics that the Welsh followers got up to before the semi final.If you want independence then as far as i am concerned it is all yours.Lets hope the good youth of Bridgend don't get to upset when the Welsh lose.It won't be linked though!
Tomorrow sees Cambridge taking their place back in football league.I wonder how many wagon jumpers will be there and if they even knew where The Shabby Stadium was when Cambridge got relegated.I did have time for the supporters of
Exeter when they played us but after the way that our Salisbury friends got treated a couple of seasons ago any small affinity i had for them simply faded away.
Leeds and
Doncaster at Wembley against each other, now that is a fun one for the London baton boys/girls. If i can find any links to CCTV cameras around the city they will certainly bring me more enjoyment than watching the game.Donny will win as well cos "WE ALL HATE LEEDS AND LEEDS AND LEEDS,,,LEEDS AND LEEDS AND LEEDS".Fifteen points,ha! it should of been demotion to the Conference North.
Glenn
Roeder what a nasty man.Has he got any backroom staff left? I read Chris Lakey's column in the EDP in the week about the club having to move from a far too soft family club to one that is ruthless and brutal.It seems to me Roeder is upsetting/bullying all of the old staff in one way or another so they leave in order to replace them with all of the staff that failed with him at his previous clubs.If he thinks that by firing anyone that criticises him he will make Norwich great then he is doomed to failure.I wonder which part of the Norwich area is now being turned into little "Y I Man" street? Norfolk's second side will be fighting relegation again next season

Yogi Bear Song - Very Funny but not safe for work

If you are prudish or are easily offended don't watch this clip

16.5.08

A bit of Atilla telling it how it should be


The Quality is not amazing but the message is all present and correct

NO Chance of Returning Back

For Every reason i feel a bit nostalgic for the days of being 17/18 again. Carefree times,No commitments, Barmy summers,no responsibilities and the freedom to do whatever I wanted.
So have a bit of 80's Cure and then the current single which is Amazing Pop

The Cure-Inbetween Days

The Cure-The Only One

15.5.08

MOre Art for arTs sake

Not really its Ralph Steadman's Birthday so here is another Montage


So North We Go it Seems

I guess the leagues were compiled on total miles travelled if we are in the north because road network and local games couldn't of been looked at all.How annoyed must Worcester and Redditch be at being put South. They now only have one local game and all the rest must be and hour and a half away at the very least. Just who is it that makes these decisions? Do they travel the country,? Do they actually have any idea of what it is like to go North from Kings Lynn? It takes an hour plus just to get to Newark with all of the extra cameras and extra white lines and this is without the general traffic.To say I am disappointed is an understatement. Good Bless Uncle Dennis, why is it when we eventually get it together and get out of the Southern League he moves up a year before to cause us more grief.
On top this off,although in my more sensible moments i will admit i just want to stay up next season,this league will be much harder to get out of now with all of the relegated conference premier sides falling into it.
On a positive spin we do renew old rivalries with Tamworth,Nuneaton, maybe Boston and get to go to Newcastle twice(overnight) and Fleetwood (Blackpool-YUK! overnight).
What's the betting that the Workington game will end up being midweek for one reason or another
Well done the Barmby and Windass lads on destroying Watford last night. Local Lads Done Good!
I see that the Kit man's jacket is still missing (today's EDP civic reception picture) if you find it the reward is to stand next to him while he drinks his couple of pints of the black stuff to warm himself up before he takes his place on the bench.

Brian Eno is 60 Today

Roxy Music - Ladytron

Eno looks like he is playing a space machine/microwave in this classic early song
(check out 4.19)

RIP Tommy Burns



I care for Scottish football about as much as I care for either Boston Utd or Man City
& after the mess that the Ned's left in Manchester last night it must be time for Hadrian's Wall to be Policed.What A bunch of Muppet's supporting the dullest side in Glasgow who deserved to get beaten last night. What was all that A4 pad tactics about with less that 10 minutes left by Walter Smith? Perhaps if you had attacked occasionally during the game the players might of known what to do.
Enjoy the goals in the clip above and Tommy Burns RIP

14.5.08

Snippets

A great goal that helped settle last nights championship(I will never get used to calling it that)from Lee Trundle from a game that despite being enjoyable enough contained two sides that would both struggle in the premiership.Will Trundle be another Healy though if Bristol get there? I haven't looked but i would guess they have plans for a new ground if they plan to stay in the top flight,competing with a ground that only hold just over 20,000 will not do them any favours.
I do hope that Hull get to the play-off final tonight and they dispense with one of the dullest sides i have seen play this season.Why has one of the country's brightest managerial prospects "Adie Boothroyd" got his side playing such crap football.

Onto more negative sides and Rangers. so will it be Rangers or Zenit who lift the UEFA cup? I care not either way as long as its a good game and the goals flow.Lets hope Zenit score early and Rangers have to attack unlike how they did in the semi final second leg in Italy.
And off topic now i read today that the European Commission has awarded a group of British Scientists a grant to see if a Robot can safely stir soup. how much did they get awarded i hear you sigh.It was the sum of One million pounds.Yes i said One million pounds. I think this outrageous for many reasons but especially so when we have massive natural disasters occurring all over the world that need aid money.
Who The Fuck needs to know if a robot can safely stir soup.

Birthday & Death

It's Ian Astbury's Birthday today.He was one of many musical heroes during my teenage gothic youth.So you get 2 songs.


The great "POP"artist Robert Rauschenberg has passed on to the other side
Here is some of his work




12.5.08

Wembley

Is OK.Nothing more,nothing less.Its big,has nice clean lines but is just a mass of concrete outside. gone are the grassy banks outside to be replaced with still ongoing construction.The lure of the twin towers and all of their history is gone and missed in my view. The statue of Bobby Moore is impressive but is dwarfed by the building. Legroom is good and the toilets are a dam sight better than before but they could only be improved.Why?Why?Why? not a roof.
The game was won by the more positive side and the subs that K&W made. The lad they bought on may only be a 20 minute player but if he wins you games like that, superb.
The general quality of football was like watching our reserves on a bad day and on several occasions the decision to return to the "Torch" pub was only just out voted.I have to point out that the Torch is much improved and service is incredibly quick.
A note about the Lowestoft fans ,there may of been lots of them but they were not together and very very quiet until the last 10 mins.
Well the place has now been staked out ready for our visit in the next few years.

It's Burt's Birthday

So Heres A Couple of His Tunes


10.5.08

Good news

The ban on drinking o the tube does not start until the 1st of June so tomorrows outing will allow us the privilege of this before Boris passes his first piece of bullshit legislation.I wonder if the multi millionaire Major of New York enjoyed the novelty £4.99 tube t-shirt that Boris gave him yesterday. What a Twat!

The Annoying Devil



A Lazy Post As its Been Far too nice to be tied to anything let alone a computer

9.5.08

Great Gig in Norwich Tonight at the Arts Centre

Yeah i know it's a bit late in the day to post this but fuck it the sun's been out.
Just listen and enjoy

Violet Violet
Great band investigate them NOW!
&
means to an end promo video

A Magnificent Tune By The Brownies


And i cant get to it either ****

It's Happy Hour (Before they were banned)- More Nanny State


Happy Birthday To Mr Paul Heaton

8.5.08

Marcus Brigstocke is 35 Today and Very Funny

A Chat

I heard tonight on our favourite Radio Norfolk radio station that Lowestoft have sold 14000 tickets for the Vase on Sunday while Kirkham & Wesham are at the 2000 mark. Both in their own ways great amounts considering the background of both clubs .It seems that Kirkham were still playing on River Lane type pitches up to last season and started their campaign to get to Wembley back in August last year. Well,I have to admit i will in the number on Sunday having a good look around at where all of the money has gone to build the new national stadium, having visited the old one on many occasions it was well overdue a face lift. Will I be impressed ? I guess Sunday will we the judge.I read today that Boris is to ban drinking on the buses and tubes as well.When will this Nanny state stop?
Reading that there is to be an AFC Liverpool starting next season as a response to the high cost of premiership tickets has reminded me that the superbly run and total fans club (no bias here of course) FC United of Manchester got promoted again after a very rocky mid part of the season.Superb stuff,they are now into the Unibond Premier and are showing what football is really all about, for the people.Just like it should be.I am still hearing these Steve Evans rumours, lets hope they are exactly that and are not the beginning of the end for our club.

Happy Birthday Dave Rowntree


Never Forget the Drummer

7.5.08

Happy Birthday Christy Moore

I have seen Christy live several times over the years,he's always entertaining and compelling to watch,if you get the chance it is well worth any effort involved.. Give the tunes below a chance and listen to the lyrics.

The Morning After Song - Delirium Tremens. Do Give it a listen , its very funny.


Another Drinking Song - Utterly Fantastic Tune


They Never came Home
Click the link for details on the content of the song


Goodbye,Farewell and Don't Forget to Shut the Door

Norfolk's second side finally got rid their most overpaid , overrated player a season too late then,as well as a good group of younger players. Despite the Webb connection I can't really see any of them coming to us apart from as last resort.Halliday is the lad that turned us down in the middle of last season, the Jarvis boys should make it comfortably at a higher level,Smart reads like a younger version of Mr Frew (i.e) loads of potential but all tunnel vision and the others seem to be of little interest except Mr Cave-Brown who did a good job for us when he was actually allowed to play. Back to hucks i see he is bemoaning the fact that he was not allowed to say goodbye to the fans, Ah did dums knob. Your not retiring,your being released because you are not good enough get over it!
Just For You Darren, an amateur version which is still better than most of your performances this season.

6.5.08

Come on down Norm it's your birthday

I remember seeing him as a very raw (did he ever really evolve) 15 year old and wishing that was me.I even had a brief chat and shook his hand when he sat a row in front of me at Villa Park in the nineties. Definately in my top ten footballers ever.
I give you Norman Whiteside.

5.5.08

Crushing

Fair play to Norfolk's second side supporters.I must of passed 30 coaches ( well some looked more like an old Dack bus) on the way to Lincoln last night.All on their way home after what must of been an absolute nightmare of a season.I didn't see many faces but i would guess they were etched with despair after another crushing defeat and also the fact that their best players were retiring or going back to their own clubs after loan periods.At least the season is at last over were the thoughts of many i would guess.
Ian Holloway !! Nothing personal against Leicester but how bloody funny is that. All that bollocks he talks after leaving Plymouth for Simply.. well Money. A lovely piece of Poetic Justice.The fact that Plymouth finished in their highest position EVER makes it even more amusing.
Mr Bragg was outstanding last night but more of that later or in the next few days as time is of the essence this morning because we are off to the (listen to the song below)

4.5.08

A bit more of the Bard of Barking


Lyrically Superb

Perfection- Please listen to this

Comment

Just a few comments on yesterdays game and parade.
1) Did you know the reserves had not won since the beginning of February or pretty much since the two best prospects left. They were poor yesterday but the youth team have been full on for the last week or so it was to sort of be expected.
2)Why play the theme to "The Great Escape" for a lap of applause for a team that have just won their area cup?
3)Did any one else think that the fittest physio in the league,according to several looked like a BA air hostess yesterday. "Mile High" beckons when it makes it comeback on channel 25.
4)Did the kitman leave his jacket in the night club on friday night or was he just ready for action when the length of grass on the pitch annoyed him?
5)Why was a supporter not allowed to use his own camera to have a picture taken of himself and the shield? Pathetic nonsense,especially considering this supporter has been attending games for the last 20 years plus.
6)The rumour mill is saying that Mr Chinn is now the majority shareholder and still wants "Steve Cheat Evans" installed as manager. I can safely say if that happens I will not attending any game involving the club at any level or ground until he has left the building again.
In Other News what is happening in the country the Greedy banks have caused a credit meltdown , energy and food prices are soaring due to other worldwide events and the people of the country think that by installing the "blue team" back in charge all of our problems will be solved!
And as for London putting a bumbling racist,homophobic,lying,spoilt pompous numbskull in charge,this is probably the dumbest thing I will ever witness in my entire life.

Watch this Video it highlights the seed that Londoners have sown


Billy Bragg is on my radar tonight in Lincoln

Sentiments that we seem to have neglected with our race for material wealth

3.5.08

The Spingboard

The scene is set and the springboard has been tuned to its highest tensity even the sun has come out for the parade.Now lets turn the machine on and keep it rolling on over all of the potential cracks and get this club up to the football league . A dream , no not this time a reality that will be achieved. Let the scarfers be exactly that and let the other fans do their own thing . Stop the sanctimonious preaching and bitching between each other and let support come from all directions.
Constructive criticism should be encouraged as well as passion but lets all keep it to that , No rose tinted glasses or absolute vitriol.
Here end the initial sermon.
Fingers crossed that Eastbourne get through to their playoff final and win it, the place is full of pseudo cockneys and brimming with hatred for us as well ,plus it's an absolute nightmare to get too.As said before "Come on you Yeltz" and finally despite their untenable arrogance when we played them a few seasons ago it must be AFC Wimbledon for the crowd value at home.

Happy Birthday to Dave Ball , Steve Jones & Frankie Valli


As an 80's Eye liner user - Soft cell were Pure class


A classic interview



A remix i know but still superb

2.5.08

It's My Party

Today is Lesley Gore's Birthday

A Far too obvious track but still Sublime


It's also the birthday of Randy Cain from the original Delfonics

Classic

Hurrah ! A Football Post (sort of)

Saturday sees the Parade commence and probably the biggest Ridgeons league attendence we have ever had. Well played the club for making this happen and for keeping the momentum going unlike what never happened after the Oldham cup match. I see that all and sundry are wanting to self promote themselves with our success with the civic reception, what a load of bullshit. If the wonderful council leader Daubney is there kick a ball at his head.Did you notice that as well as charging the disabled to park and on top of this making people pay a £1 to go out in the town at night if they park, the kings lynn museum is also no longer free to enter ( it costs £3 for adults). The excuse is well we do have some old wood that was only discovered in 1998 (my Arse) for you to look at. It also costs more to swim at the burnt out wreck of a pool that we have. Have you visited ? If not,don't bother until they eventually get the damage repaired, non-hygenic is an understatement. Guess he subscribes to the Thatcher quote of "There is no such thing as society: there are individual men and women, and there are families."
Anyway i digress, so its the Students vs the Yeltz for promotion. What a choice,I will have to go for the Yeltz as it should help our chances of going conference south.
Well done the youth on winning their cup.

1.5.08

Weird News Story

Penis theft panic hits city..


By Joe Bavier

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

(Editing by Nick Tattersall and Mary Gabriel)


WTF

A Random Internet Confession

Many, many years ago when I was around 6 or 7 years old my friend Johnny and I were playing in the alley along the back of our houses. For reasons best known to seven year olds we started rooting in some garbage bins and found some super white bandages with blood already on them, just perfect for using as bandages in a game of war. Shortly after we were spotted by our mothers who were absolutely horrified to find us playing with and wearing used sanitary towels!

YUCK

Today is Ray Parker Jrs Birthday


Legend